STATE FAIR

It's a fierce world, butter sculpture production.

These lard carvings need to stay firm for up to a month, require increasing inventiveness, and demand acumen and cunning to rival other state fairs across the country. Butter organizers chose an 800 pound Egyptian theme for this year's State Fair of Texas to go along with the new King Tut exhibit at the Dallas Museum of Art.

But will an unsalted King Tut hold his own against other condiment displays throughout the U.S.?

This is only the beginning...

9. Quite possibly the wackiest opening day parade in the history of overly-orchestrated marching

8. Kids selling their pets at the youth auction

I feel sick.

Ok, so the line "deep-fried goodness" is actually true. Honey peanut butter and banana dough balls really do taste better ensconced in chunky fried dough a la fried banana split. The chicken fried bacon has a subtle spice that makes it equally addictive. And I don't even like chicken fried steak.

No wonder they won most creative and best taste respectively at the Big Tex Choice Awards on Monday.

The eight finalists flipped and fried like the most seasoned of chefs. Call it fried food fantasy or Texas-style gourmet cuisine.

A confession in the spirit of newsroom transparency: I'm not quite a State Fair virgin.

I watched Big Tex get dressed earlier this summer.

The State Fair titillation began in mid-July when Dickies, a Fort-Worth based western wear company and fair sponsor, refitted Big Tex in a new pair of denims and a canary-yellow shirt.

Jessica,

I guess now I'm the outsider. I'm on your stomping grounds in beautiful San Francisco. Over on the Metro blog, I asked Steve Blow: Why are we living in Dallas? And why is Jessica so excited about covering the State Fair of Texas when she could be here?

You're gearing up for corny dogs and Fried Coke. I'm having pork tenderloin steamed in fig leaves with chanterelles in a cozy restaurant on Sutter Street.

Now I'm off to hang out with your peeps at Caffe Trieste in North Beach, sip a coffee and pretend to be reading Proust.

Photo by Steve Harris: Canteen on Sutter Street

This is my second reality check and the fair hasn't even started yet.

The State Fair of Texas is amusement park expensive. It costs $14 just to enter. That doesn't count the $10 parking and those 50 cent tickets that start adding up, if like me, you want to sample everything labeled "homemade" or "State Fair specialty item."

If, also like me, you live off free samples and affluent friends, the solution to your thinning pocketbook may lie with The Women's Museum. Located on the fairgrounds, it needs volunteers to help run the museum during the fair when visitors more than double.

Intern Jessica Meyers, who got her graduate degree from the University of California at Berkeley -- of all places -- has a penchant for Birkenstocks and yogurt. But she's bought a pair of cowboy boots, relaxed her aversion to fried foods and will be hitting the fairgrounds for the first time in her sheltered life. You'll find her observations on the State Fair blog before and during the fair's 21-day run. In addition, you'll get regular reports from fellow reporters and editors.